Day-Storms Studio

In the vast universe of superheroes, Spider-Man stands out not just for his web-slinging abilities, but for the profound lessons he imparts. However, the Spider-Man* I know isn’t swinging between skyscrapers in New York City. He’s my son, a vibrant young boy with a world of experiences (already) that are both unique and enlightening. You see, my Spider-Man is an amazing, neurodivergent little boy.

Neurodiversity is a term that many might be unfamiliar with, and it is a “word” that I am personally ambivalent about since it sounds like divergent. Neurodiversity should not be a negative. Neurological differences are to be recognized and respected just like any other human variation. I use terms like ‘neurodiversity’ and ‘neurodiverse’ because of the need to communicate about this complex issue. It is just a label.

My son perceives the world in a way that’s distinct from many others. While he’s communicative, he faces challenges, especially in sensory perception. Spider-Man also has a form of avascular osteonecrosis that affects his lower limbs, but he is so strong. It’s through these challenges that I am learning some of life’s most profound lessons…even at my age.

Here are but a few of these lessons.

How to be more patient

Patience, in its true essence, goes beyond mere waiting. It encompasses the virtues of understanding, adapting, and loving unconditionally. It is the ability to maintain composure and empathy in the face of challenges and difficulties.

For example, Spider-Man becomes dysregulated at times…and the impetus may be something I understand or it could be due to a reason known only to him. In those moments, my patience can be put to the test. However, I have come to realize that these instances present a profound opportunity for growth and connection.

Instead of reacting with frustration or anger, I choose to see them as a chance to delve deeper into his world. I strive to understand him better, to empathize with his struggles, and to genuinely step into his perspective. By doing so, I can foster a stronger bond with him and cultivate a more profound sense of compassion and understanding.

How to be resilient

Resilience is another virtue that Spider-Man has taught me. Much like his superhero moniker, my Spider-Man loves spinning and flipping. It is one of his stims (a way of coping). My wife and I enrolled him (and his little brother Bonecrusher*) into gymnastics a couple years ago.

He loves gymnastics! He looks forward to his class and seeing his instructors and friends. He even participates each year in their winter showcase.

One evening, I was watching him in class. The instructor had each boy running and jumping down the mat. While running at full-speed, Spider-Man fell flat on his face! I watched him jump back up, with his face covered in chalk, and a huge smile from ear-to-ear. He then takes off running again to finish (while covered in white chalk).

Watching him in his gymnastics class, falling and getting back up with a smile, has shown me the true meaning of perseverance. It’s not about never falling; it’s about rising every time we fall.

How not to care so much what others think

And then there’s the lesson of letting go of external judgments. In a world that’s often too concerned with appearances, Spider-Man has shown me the beauty of authenticity.

Spider-Man is developmentally delayed in some aspects and does not always have fine motor control. As a consequence, he is a very messy eater. After one of our Spider-Man/Daddy outings to a donut shop before his therapy, he had chocolate frosting on his face (along with his infectious grin). I told him that his face was messy and we needed to clean it off. He asked why, and I responded that others may think poorly about a dirty face. He informed that it was OK because none of that really matter.

Whether it’s having frosting on his face or expressing joy in his unique way, he lives in the moment, unburdened by what others might think. Guess what? He is right.

These are just some of the many lessons that Spider-Man has taught me. He is my hero, not because of his abilities, but because of his character. He is kind, brave, curious, and joyful. He is not defined by his challenges, but by his strengths. He is not limited by his label, but by his potential. He is Spider-Man, and he is amazing.